


On the Edge of the Ocean

by chasethewind



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Red Dress, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 16:36:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasethewind/pseuds/chasethewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The follow up to Bad Day. There she was again; crying in her red dress, only this time Oliver was determined to make her feel better. But will shadows from the past derail their fun?</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Edge of the Ocean

The sound of her sobbing reached his ears well before he even saw her. Stepping down the stairs into his lair from the nightclub above dressed in a charcoal gray suit and tie, Oliver Queen surveyed the scene. It was dark aside from a few overhead lights casting wayward shadows across the concrete floor.

Oliver knew something had happened again. He'd seen her outside earlier, standing alone in the Monique Lhuillier gown he'd given her a few months back, her phone pressed to her ear as the tears fell down her cheeks. Felicity Smoak didn't go out in a red dress, especially one that cost several thousand dollars, if she wasn't expecting to be seen in it with someone. Who that person was remained a mystery to him. They really hadn't spoken about her private life ever since the night of their disastrous first kiss.

It had been a struggle those first few days. They stole awkward glances at each other and kept a wide distance while in the presence of one another, something Diggle had picked up on but didn't ask about. If it ever came up in conversation, one stern glance from Oliver squelched the question before it had a chance to arise.

After about a week, and some very stressful missions, things got back to (semi) normal. Although Oliver was relieved to have their friendship on track, the lingering feeling of "what if" would still filter through his thoughts now and then.

"Felicity?" Oliver called out as he hit the last step and glanced around the cavernous space trying to pinpoint her exact location.

"Go away!" she cried.

Her voice came from somewhere off in the darkness near her desk. The old leather couch, he thought immediately, heading in that direction. He found her sprawled out, her face buried in her arm with a tissue dangling from the tips of her fingers. Her dress fanned out as her bare feet hung off the edge of the cushions. The red high heels she'd been wearing were discarded on the floor beside her.

Oliver's heart broke to see her hurting so much. Even though Felicity had explicitly told him to leave, he stepped closer and kneeled down beside her head. His hand came up to brush a few errant tendrils of blonde hair that had been pulled free from the bun on top of her head away from her cheek. Her head popped up immediately upon feeling his fingers graze her cheek.

"Hi," Oliver whispered with a soft smile in hopes of easing the tension.

Through bleary red rimmed eyes Felicity stared at him. Even without glasses or contacts (they had slid out during the first intense sob session that night), she could still make out Oliver's soft blue eyes in the near darkness. They had a way of calming her soul and making her feel better. She could feel her anger and sadness dissipating.

"Hi," Felicity mumbled as she dabbed her eyes with her tissue. This time she'd had the presence of mind to wear waterproof mascara.

"Are you alright?" Oliver softly asked as his hand came to rest at the nape of her neck. His thumb gently rubbed circles behind her ear. Felicity shook her head. "You want to tell me what happened?"

His words were so gentle and comforting; she felt another wave of tears wash over her from the sheer kindness in his voice. His hand immediately came up to wipe them away as Felicity tried to compose herself.

"It's okay," Oliver whispered as he kept stroking her cheek. He desperately wanted to pull her in for a hug but feared that it would only upset her more. Their friendship was still in a delicate place. He didn't want to push her any farther than she wanted to go.

Felicity's lower lip began to tremble. The combination of Oliver's touch and the way her night had unfolded caused her to sob, "He stood me up!" Her head fell back into the crook of her elbow in an attempt to hide the pain.

"Who stood you up? Preston?" Oliver asked. The blood began to boil in his veins. "Because if he did, I swear…" He was ready to hood up and beat the punk senseless for hurting Felicity again. Clenching his fist, he did his best to keep his anger in check.

"No, no," Felicity immediately replied. She sensed Oliver's anger well before her head popped back up from her elbow. "This guy I met online." He gave her a puzzled look and she continued, "Ryder Strong; we've been talking for a few weeks now and he finally asked me out. I did all my research on him: back traced his cell phone, did a thorough background check, the whole nine yards. Nothing about him seemed hinky, so I said yes. We were supposed to meet at that new restaurant that just opened, but he never showed and he didn't answer his phone the million and one times I called him!"

With the tears flowing again, Felicity cried, "What's wrong with me, Oliver? Is there something about me that screams 'un-datable'? Do I have some kind of guy repellant sprayed all over me?"

Oliver chuckled. His hand remained on her cheek as he said, "No, not at all. This Ryder guy would be lucky to go out with you, but it seems pretty obvious to me he's an idiot for standing you up. I don't think he realizes how great you are." He continued to brush back her tears, adding, "You're a wonderful person, Felicity. Don't let some jackass drag you down. You're smart, you're beautiful, you're honest and caring. This just proves you deserve so much better."

His words were heartfelt and sincere. Although Oliver had every intention of making her feel better, it seemed to have the opposite effect. The tears began to stream down Felicity's cheeks again as her head dropped into her elbow. Oliver sat there trying to figure out where he went wrong until she replied, "How do you always know the right thing to say?"

Oliver laughed again. "I don't know! I'm just being honest with you."

In a completely unexpected yet welcome move, Felicity reached over and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you," she sniffled. "I needed that."

"You're welcome," Oliver murmured in her ear as his arms tightened around her shoulders. They remained in their embraces for a little longer, neither wanting to let go of the security of the other's arms. It was Felicity who pulled away first to sit up and smooth out the wrinkles in her dress.

"Are you still hungry?" Oliver asked before his mind even had time to process what he was saying. He just wanted to spend a little more time with her, especially after what she'd been through that night, to make sure she was okay. "I feel bad that this is the second time you've been stood up. Let me do something to make you feel better."

Felicity was caught off guard, and for several moments she stared at him, surprised by his proposition. After some thought, a weak smile appeared on her face as she replied, "I just want to go home and go to bed."

"Come on, it's Friday night. We don't have to go for dinner, just somewhere far away from this… crazy we've gotten used to." He was still trying to convince her, only this time he looked up at her with the sweetest puppy dog eyes.

Hesitating, Felicity bit her lower lip. Those eyes… She couldn't believe how easily she could get lost in them. It made her think about what Oliver said. He was right; they'd dealt with a lot of crazy these past few weeks. Taking a break sounded nice, especially after such a heartbreaking night. But recognizing that she was an emotional train wreck, Felicity just said, "I don't know, Oliver."

"I promise this is just two friends hanging out and spending some time together. I know we've been through a lot lately. All I want to do is make you happy," he said. "And to sweeten the pot, I'll let you drive." Oliver held up a black key fob with a silver Audi logo on it.

Felicity's eyes widened, emotions suddenly taking a backseat. "Is that the key to the R8?" she dubiously asked, eying him suspiciously. Oliver nodded. Grabbing it out of his hand, she said, "Let's go."

'Damn him,' Felicity thought as she got up off the couch, slipping on her heels. She cursed Oliver for finding her weakness. There was just something about that beautiful black car that made her insides melt. The first day Felicity had laid eyes on it behind her little red eco-mobile, her heart had fluttered. The styling, the color, the sound of the engine as it roared to life… They all made her weak in the knees. A computer geek first and foremost, cars were Felicity's secret second love.

It had been pretty obvious to Oliver ever since the first day he'd pulled up in the super car that she'd fallen in love with it. He made it his mission to drive the R8 at least once a week, especially if he knew Felicity would be around to help him. The way her face lit up when she gazed upon it gave him the most satisfying feeling in the world. It was a fluke that he'd driven it tonight, and a good one at that. If letting her drive the car of her dreams would make Felicity happy, then Oliver wasn't about to deny her the happiness she so rightfully deserved.

Stepping out into the warm night air together, they made their way towards the car. "Wow," Felicity breathed. "It's so pretty…" She was enthralled, her fingers ever so lightly skimming the glossy black paint as she walked around it to take in every line, every curve of the elegantly styled body. Her favorite part had to be the carbon fiber panel that stretched along the sides of each door. It gave the car a bit of eye-catching flavor that most other super cars failed to achieve.

Fiddling with the key fob, she unlocked the door and began to reach for the handle only to have Oliver swoop in and open it for her. A smile crept onto Felicity's face as she slid into the driver's seat and placed her hands on the felt covered steering wheel. The R8 was even more beautiful on the inside than she could have imagined. The black and silver buttons glowed red in the moonlight, and as she adjusted her seat and mirrors, Oliver slid into the passenger's seat beside her.

"I can't believe I get to drive this," Felicity said when she found the ignition switch and pressed it. The engine roared to life as a giddy laugh escaped her lips. Turning to Oliver, she added, "I feel better already!"

"You're welcome," he chuckled. They stared at each other for a few more moments before Oliver turned away and began fiddling with the touch screen on the center console. "So, Miss Smoak, where would you like to go this evening?" he asked.

The mood had shifted dramatically these past few minutes. With her sadness nearly gone, she glanced over at Oliver with a mischievous smile and replied, "Anywhere, Mr. Queen."

Oliver punched an address into the satellite navigation and soon they were off. Felicity sped down the somewhat empty Starling City streets following the map on the screen. "So, where are we going?" she asked, her voice light and curious.

"To one of my favorite places," he answered.

"And where is that?"

"You'll see." Oliver returned her mischievous grin as she hit the gas, speeding onto the freeway onramp towards their destination.

"I love this car," Felicity said, mostly to herself. "Mid-engine V10, automatic transmission, 550 horsepower, 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds… What I wouldn't give to own one of these myself, but the insurance would probably cost me an arm and a leg. And don't even get me started on the gas mileage. But it's so much fun to drive!"

"Step on the gas," he encouraged. "Have some fun. We've got a little ways to go still. Besides, what's all this power for if you're not going to put your foot down?" Oliver was goading her to see just how far she would go. He felt his body slam into the back of his seat as Felicity took the bait and hit the gas. The car leapt forward, and when Oliver glanced at the speedometer, it read 125mph.

"Oh, my God!" she screamed. It was followed by a delighted giggle and smooth braking down to 80mph. Felicity turned to Oliver, her eyes shining bright like the stars overhead, and added, "That… was… AWESOME!" The teenager was coming out in her but she couldn't care less. Her bad night melted away the farther she drove.

Cruising at a more reasonable 70mph, Felicity let her elbow fall to the soft black leather that stretched over the center compartment. Her hand slipped over the shift knob as she continued following the GPS to the destination Oliver had programmed in. A comfortable silence settled between them.

"Seriously, Oliver, where are we going? I don't think I've ever been to this part of town before," Felicity said as she pulled off the highway onto a small street lined with bungalows that headed west.

"Really, you've never been here?" He was a bit surprised.

"I don't think so." Suddenly the view opened up and the ocean became visible from the road. The street came to an end at a white sand beach. Felicity put the car in park and just stared in awe. "This is beautiful!" The moon's rays danced off the water's surface making it shimmer in the dark.

"You really have never been here, have you?" Oliver watched her from where he sat. She looked like a little girl absolutely wonderstruck by the sight in front of her. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his lips when he saw the joy sparkling in her eyes.

"No, never," Felicity whispered, her eyes unable to tear away from white sands. "Where are we?"

"Whiteside Beach," Oliver answered. "I used to come here when I was younger. It's great during the day, but there's just something about the ocean at night, you know?"

"I know now," she replied. Slipping off her heels again, Felicity opened her door and stepped onto the still warm pavement. It had been nearly a decade since her last trip to the beach and she yearned to feel the sand between her toes. Hiking up her dress, she gathered it up in her hand before stepping onto the cool sand.

Glancing back, she saw Oliver barefoot with his pant legs rolled up to his knees following her onto the beach. Together they walked down the white sands to the edge of the ocean. The gentle rolling waves lapped at their feet as they stood staring out into the starry night sky.

"This is breathtaking." Felicity couldn't believe she had never been here or even heard of this place up until now.

"I thought you'd enjoy it," Oliver replied. He turned and began walking along the water's edge, motioning for her to follow. Felicity caught up easily and together they made their way down the cool white sands.

"How did you find this place?" she asked.

"I was nine when my parents took me out here. It was right before Thea was born. I've been coming back ever since."

Felicity nodded. They walked silently for a little while longer as she continued to take it all in. Stately beach houses and tiny hotels lined the shore as the full moon rose over the ocean illuminating their path. A little further down stood a small pier.

"Is that where we're headed?" Felicity pointed.

"If that's where you'd like to go," Oliver said.

"I would like that," she replied with a smile. The comfortable silence returned, each lost in their own thoughts as the lights of the pier brightened and came closer. Felicity could see a small bait and gift shop beside what appeared to be an ice cream stand. Her stomach growled. She was getting quite hungry and wished she'd taken Oliver up on his dinner offer, although not if it would have meant never discovering this place.

Walking onto the wooden planks of the pier, Felicity let her dress fall back down as her feet hit the worn walkway. She was surprised to discover the shops were still open for business as customers, mostly older men with long fishing poles and tackle boxes, wandered about chit-chatting with each other as they walked up and down the pier.

Oliver and Felicity wandered down the walkway until they reached the end. Leaning against the wooden rail, he gazed out at the sea. Beside him, Felicity leaned over the edge to watch the waves as they crashed against the wooden pilings.

"I didn't think this place could get more beautiful, and then you took me here," she said wistfully. The smile on her face shone bright in the pale moonlight. "Thank you, Oliver, for being such a great friend. This means a lot to me. Not many people have gone this far out of their way to make me feel better." She paused, feeling the weight of the story she was about to share.

"Actually, the only person who did was my dad. Whenever I was feeling down, he would take me out and we'd go to the park or the museum. Then he would take me for dinner or ice cream. I miss that."

Felicity sighed and leaned into Oliver's side. His arm came around her shoulders to pull her flush against him. They stood watching the ocean waves roll in for quite some time, the silence more comfortable than ever. She sighed again, happy to have someone like Oliver in her life. He may have been an incredibly complicated man living a double life, but moments like these, the simple moments, made her realized just how desperately he strived for normalcy as well. Some days he succeeded while others turned into miserable failures. Tonight was an exceptional success.

"I like spending time with you outside of… work," Oliver softly admitted, never taking his eyes off the ocean.

Glancing up at him, Felicity could see it was an admission he'd been waiting to make. Although unexpected, it didn't make her feel any less comfortable than she was. Actually, it made her happy. Sometimes getting Oliver to open up about his feelings was a monumental task. Tonight it seemed that he'd put his heart on his sleeve, a pleasant change for a man that often seemed closed off to the world.

It was nice having her friend back. Ever since their catastrophic first kiss, Oliver had been keeping his distance. Felicity understood why: she'd made it pretty clear that it had been a one-time thing. It was an experiment that hadn't gone well. But she couldn't help wondering what would happen if they kissed again. Could it erase the damage the first one had done?

With the way tonight seemed to be going, Felicity wouldn't be surprised if it did happen and the results completely changed her mind about having a relationship with Oliver. She was surprised to find that she felt ready and willing to take another chance if the opportunity presented itself. After all, he was putting forth an enormous effort to make her happy.

"I like spending time with you too," Felicity said as she gave him one of her stellar smiles. "We should do this again."

Oliver looked down at her pleasantly surprised. A smile tugged at the edges of his lips as his body visibly relaxed. He hadn't realized just how tense admitting that he enjoyed Felicity's company made him. But hearing that she enjoyed his as well set him at ease.

"So, where would you like to go next?" Oliver asked.

"I don't know," Felicity answered. "You lead and I'll follow. This is your stomping ground, after all."

As Oliver turned to head back down the pier, he felt Felicity's hand brush up against his. He thought for a moment it was an accident, but when she did it again, he knew what she wanted. Slipping his hand into hers, he led them back towards the shops.

Felicity glanced down, a little shocked that her subtle touch had garnered such a reaction. Wait a minute… Was Oliver Queen holding her hand? She had to glance down and double check. 'Yep, he's holding your hand,' she thought to herself, still dumbfounded and surprised that it felt so nice. Although his hand was much bigger than hers, it felt soft and warm and comforting.

"Are you hungry?" Oliver asked. He'd heard her stomach growl a little while ago, and since they were coming up to the ice cream shop, he only thought it proper to ask.

"Maybe a little," Felicity replied. When the aroma of freshly baked waffle cones hit her nose, her stomach growled loudly this time and she giggled, "Okay, maybe a lot."

They came to the window still holding hands. "Ladies first," he said, nudging Felicity forward, still refusing to let go of her hand.

She put her finger to her chin and stared up at the list of flavors above her head. "I will have…" she said, still undecided. "A scoop of… mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone," Felicity told the server.

"Strawberry milk shake for me," Oliver added as he pulled a single black credit card out of the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He handed it to the cashier and soon after, they had their makeshift dinner in hand.

"You really don't have to do all this," Felicity said as they walked off the pier back onto the cool white sands. Her hand was still firmly grasping his as she licked at her ice cream cone. "But I appreciate it. Thank you… again."

"You're welcome, again," Oliver replied. He led her a few feet from the water's edge and sat down in the sand. She followed suit, her dress completely forgotten as she flopped down at his side, their fingers still intertwined. He liked the way her hand fit into his palm. It just felt… right.

Oliver hoped he wasn't reading too much into everything she did that night, but judging by the fact that Felicity hadn't let go, he knew there was something more happening here. Somehow she was coming around, and if she let him, he was willing to take things to the next level.

Maybe another kiss was in the cards, if he played them right. For now, Oliver wanted to take things slow just to make sure he didn't startle her off again. If things played out the way they had a few months ago, there was a strong possibility their relationship might not recover. It was the last thing Oliver wanted.

"Can I ask you something?" Felicity said, having finished her ice cream. She glanced up and he nodded. "Why aren't more guys like you?"

"Playboy billionaires by day and vigilantes at night?" Oliver snorted. Although he knew where she was going with the question, he still couldn't help himself. That's when he felt Felicity playfully punch him in the arm.

"Ass," she grumbled. But a smile had come to her lips. "I mean honest and caring and respectful and trustworthy." Felicity turned to face him. "There are so few real gentlemen out there anymore. Most are just overgrown boys in suits who are only out for themselves. You, on the other hand, are the most selfless person I know. You put your life at risk on a daily basis in order to help others. You're basically every woman's dream."

Oliver mulled over her words. Although there was some truth to her words, Felicity had overlooked one key aspect of his life. "As flattering as that is, Felicity, I'm far from anyone's dream," Oliver said.

Flashes of his life past and present flickered through his mind. "I've been selfish. I've hurt the people closest to me. I've killed people. I'm not this perfect person you think I am. I've changed. I'm... damaged." He couldn't look at her anymore. The pain those memories brought up was overwhelming.

'Damn it,' Felicity inwardly cursed herself for ruining the mood again. The one time she tried to compliment him it backfired. "Oliver, no, don't say that," she replied, squeezing his hand. "I didn't know you before the island, but meeting you has changed my whole perspective on life. Seeing you so committed to a cause and so dedicated to fixing what's wrong with Starling City makes me believe that time you spent on the island made you a better person. Most people who come back from experiences like that change for the worse. You changed for the better."

Although she was doing her best to make him see the good, all Oliver could focus on was the bad. "You don't even know what happened to me on that island." His voice was rough and spiteful. But she didn't back away. Instead, her free hand came up to stroke his cheek.

"Then tell me what happened," Felicity challenged. Her boldness surprised him. She could see it in his eyes as he gazed up at her. They had softened as a look of contemplation settled over his features.

Several minutes passed as the sound of the ocean heightened the painful silence that had settled between them. Oliver was unsure whether sharing the details of his personal hell was warranted, but the determination Felicity displayed tonight made him think that she wouldn't back down until he said something. With a deep sigh, he began, "A lot of things happened on that island, things that haunt me. They play out in my head, over and over again, like a really bad broken record."

Oliver was stalling, buying his time, but Felicity was having none of it. "What happened out there?" she pressed. Even though she'd promised herself she would give him time to tell her his story, tonight they were in a very different place. She wanted, no,  _needed_  answers from him.

"Stuff that nightmares are made of…" The pain that clouded his beautiful blue eyes ripped right into the center of her heart. Felicity was having second thoughts. Maybe this had been a bad idea. But Oliver showed no sign of stopping now. "I saw things, did things that completely changed my views of the world; things that brought my life into perspective. There were several moments where I thought I was going to die, but I knew if I didn't find the strength to keep going, I'd let my father down."

Oliver stopped. His head dropped slightly to look down at her hand gently squeezing his in a show of support. It was definitely a change, sharing such guarded information with someone he barely knew, but Felicity had shown just how trustworthy and understanding she truly was. It's what made him choose to bring her into the fold. He knew he could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge him.

"I've seen your scars. I can only imagine what caused them. Tell me." It pained her to say those words, but Felicity had to know. She needed to understand why there was so much hurt in Oliver's eyes and why he bore such a burden alone.

"I was barely on the island for a few hours when I was shot with an arrow." Oliver paused for a moment as a tingle of the pain he felt from the injury resurfaced. It was quickly replaced by her hand ever so lightly falling against his chest where the scar lingered.

"This one?" Felicity whispered as she gently stroked it through his shirt with her thumb.

He nodded, "That was the first time I thought I was going to die. It was the worst pain I'd felt in my life up to that point, but I managed to get through it. I really didn't think things could get any worse, but then I was caught by mercenaries and tortured." Again Oliver paused. He closed his eyes, trying to shake the thought out of his head. He felt Felicity's hand slide over to the other side of his chest and immediately looked up to find her brows furrowed.

"Which scars were those?" she asked, trying to remember the patterns.

Placing his hand over hers, Oliver guided it along his abdomen. "Here," he said before moving it to just over his heart. "And here."

Felicity could feel his heart quicken just as hers had. Every beat reverberated off her palm as it laid there feeling the heat rising off his chest. Swallowing back a sob, her eyes slowly glanced up to lock with his. "Oliver," she barely whispered, tears shimmering in the moonlight. His pain had become her pain. Her heart cried out to him as she finally began to understand the true depth of his suffering on that island. "I'm so sorry."

Oliver could tell she was trying to hold back her tears and failing miserably. One slid down her cheek and he reached out to wipe it away with his fingers, fully aware that her hand was still pressed to his chest.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Felicity felt the fresh tears steadily slide down her cheeks. She hadn't expected his words to affect her so deeply, but here she was weeping at the thought of all the pain he'd been through. As her hand cradled the back of his head, she felt Oliver bury his face into the crook of her neck. His arms came around her waist to hold her close as she continued silently sobbing.

"Felicity," Oliver murmured against her skin. It was hard not to get lost in the turbulent emotions that plagued him to this day. Of all the times the scenes played out in his head, never once had he really let the feelings take over as they were now. Telling Felicity managed to bring out the human element that had been missing for so long.

"I shouldn't have asked," she whispered against his ear. "I'm sorry I made you relive that. I promise not to bring it up again."

"Felicity, listen to me," Oliver said as he took her face in his hands. The tears continued to drip down her cheeks as she gazed back at him with red rimmed eyes. "You would have found out eventually. I just didn't want to burden you with any of this so soon."

"You're not burdening me," she interrupted, her fingers ever so gently stroking the back of his neck. "I wanted to understand you, where you were coming from, your reasons for doing what you do. I might not have all the answers I want, but that's okay. I'm just happy you chose to confide in me instead of keeping it to yourself."

Felicity paused for a moment to gather her thoughts as Oliver continued to stare at her with those soft blue eyes. "You always said I could talk to you about anything," she reiterated. "Well, now I'm telling you I'm also here to listen. I don't care how stupid or trivial you think something might be; you can always talk to me about it. I will never, ever judge you. I'm here for you, Oliver. I will always be here for you."

Her smile, the way her eyes shined in the moonlight, her heartfelt words… They were Oliver's tipping point. He couldn't stop from pulling Felicity's face closer and pressing his lips against hers. Pouring his heart out in that kiss, he felt her arms wrap around his neck again as her body sagged into his embrace. Even as their lips parted, she refused to pull away.

"Don't stop," Felicity whispered as she closed her eyes and captured his lips again. The intensity of the emotions flowing between them fueled her need to kiss him. Their second attempt at this kissing thing had definitely worked out for the better, especially since it had been Oliver to initiate this little make out session instead of her.

Hold on, Oliver Queen was kissing  _her_  this time? Had all that worry about making things awkward the first time around been for naught? Had he really wanted to kiss her all along and was just afraid that she would friend-zone him? 'Well, shit,' Felicity thought as a smile crept onto her lips. Even she could see the irony in the situation.

Instead of letting her mind dwell on it, Felicity decided to put all her focus on the present. She wanted to enjoy the way Oliver's lips explored hers, the way his tongue licked over her bottom lip making her mouth open so it slipped inside, its velvety softness gently probing and exploring. 'Damn, he really is a marvelous kisser,' she thought as a soft moan escaped her throat.

With her lungs beginning to burn, Felicity had no choice but to pull away. She took in several deep breaths as their foreheads pressed together, eyes locking. "Wow," she sighed. "That was…"

"Amazing," Oliver finished with a smile.

"I was going to say awesome, but amazing works too," Felicity replied as she returned his smile. Her fingers settled on the back of his neck.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, looking somewhat fearful yet hopeful.

"Always," she replied.

"I really like kissing you." Oliver's hand came up to cradle her cheek.

She turned her head and softly kissed his palm. "I like kissing you too," Felicity whispered. "In fact, I'd like to kiss you again." And with that, their lips were pressed together once more. Her fingers ruffled through his hair before gliding over his shoulders and trailing down his back.

Unknowingly, they settled over another painful scar and Oliver was engulfed by his demons again. Everything Felicity had said over the course of that night mingled with the pain. He pulled away, garnering a whimper of dislike from her lips, but he made sure they kept their distance.

"I can't do this to you, Felicity," Oliver murmured as he pressed his forehead to hers. His hands came up to cup her face as he closed his eyes trying to hide the pain that was working its way to those soft blue pools.

"Do what?" Her voice was shaky. Felicity knew what he meant. She could see it in the way he was beginning to retreat again. Her heart sank into her stomach as tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Silently she begged him not to do this.

"Lead you on." He opened his eyes again and caught her gaze. Oliver saw her unshed tears. The pain of what he was about to say paled in comparison to what he felt. Sighing, he said, "I won't lie to you. Every fiber of my being is telling me that we should be together and take this relationship to the next level, but I'm afraid of hurting you. You're the best thing that's happened to me since I came back and I don't want to ruin what we have by rushing into things. With all the memories from the island so fresh in my mind, I feel like I'd just be doing you a disservice if we did start something. I've burdened you enough already with having to keep my secret. I don't want to keep burdening you with my demons until I've dealt with them myself."

As much as it hurt to admit, Oliver was right. "I understand," Felicity sighed. "I've pushed you enough for one night. I don't want to push you into something you're not ready for. I've seen what happened between you and…" She couldn't bring herself to say their names. It hurt like hell knowing two other women had been with him and gotten to enjoy his company in a more carefree way than she had, but he'd made it pretty obvious that she was the special one.

Oliver nodded. "I will promise you when the time is right, there's nothing that'll stop me from being everything you need me to be. Someday I will live up to your expectations, it's just that right now I'm not there yet. There's still a lot of healing left to do."

"Don't be afraid to tell me anything," Felicity reassured him as she brought her hands to his face. "You don't have to hide anything from me. I'm not going anywhere. All I ask is that you don't keep secrets from me and that you trust me the same way I trust you."

"I'll always trust you, Felicity," Oliver said before turning to kiss her palm.

A weak smile appeared on her lips as a pair of tears slid down her cheeks. As much as it broke her heart to let him go, Felicity knew it was the right course of action. Someday Oliver would be ready, but right now his life was still in a very dark place. Her pain reflected in his eyes as she took a seat in the sand beside him and turned her gaze to the ocean.

With another deep sigh, Felicity's head fell to his shoulder as she reached over to take his hand again. If she couldn't kiss Oliver, all she wanted was to feel his touch. Their fingers locked together as they stared out into the darkness.

Although she knew it would take Oliver some time to get through all this, Felicity believed in him. If he managed to survive five years stranded on a forbidding island, he would overcome the demons that plagued him from that time. The pain of having to wait paled in comparison to the joy she knew was in her future. For now, she would just have to find the strength to carry on.


End file.
